Ever wondered why impact play is so popular? Curious about how impact play might enhance your sex life? Thinking about giving it a try but unsure of where to start? Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!

This blog will provide you with the ins and outs, as well as tips and tricks on how you can seamlessly incorporate impact play into your bedroom activities. If you are new to this, then the content contained in this blog is sure to provide you with the confidence to enhance your sex life and play out those naughty fantasies.

What Is Impact Play?

In short Impact play is an umbrella term used in the BDSM community to describe sexual gratification obtained from one person being struck by another. Usually both parties receive a rush from the experience but it not uncommon for only one person (usually the one being struck) to experience a bigger thrill from impact play itself.

Impact play has been described as a gateway activity into the realm of BDSM, and this is likely true. Most people begin with impact play as a way to dip their toes into BDSM, it is fun and easy to explore at a pace that suits you.

Types of impact play

There are many different types of impact play and each type is usually defined by the tools used to strike the recipient. For this blog I am going to give you detailed instruction regarding three common types of impact play (though there are many more) – spanking, caning and flogging.



This is one of the more common forms of impact play and is easy to experiment with, as no additional props are necessary. Spanking is simply striking a body part with your hand. As with all impact play, it is important to start out light and build to an intensity that is most pleasurable for the recipient. Different sensations can be achieved by altering not only the intensity, but also the shape of your hand. A cupped hand will deliver a lighter more airy thud, while a flat open hand will increase the sharpness of the strike. Spreading the fingers will create more of a stinging sensation compared with keeping your fingers together. Though props are not required, you can most certainly experiment with a variety of accessories such as leather, latex or rubber gloves. Each type will give a different sensation and is worth exploring.

Spanking 101

The first thing to do is to communicate your interest in spanking to your partner. This applies regardless of your position as a Dom or sub. Do not just start slapping your partners ass or demanding to be slapped, as this could confuse your partner, especially if you have never done this before. Chat to them and see if it is something they are willing to try.

Once you have agreed on incorporating spanking into your play time, you will need to set boundaries regarding the intensity. I recommend selecting a safe word that either party can use if things get too much. It can be any word, but try to pick something that will stand out. Pick something that is easy to remember, and more importantly – not something that is likely to be said as a result of the play itself!

Once you have completed the above steps, it’s time to get down to business. Luckily spanking requires no equipment, so all you need are yourselves and a safe space to play.

The next thing to do is to consider how spanking will be incorporated. Will you be adding some spanking to your usual sex sessions or will it be part of a roleplay scenario? If you choose a roleplay, make sure you have discussed the details of this before starting so you know what to expect.

As I have mentioned above, different hand shapes give different sensations. If you are the Dom, experiment with these and see what your partner likes most. If you are the sub, encourage your partner to experiments until they


Used in the Victorian era as a method of punishment in the British education system, caning provides opportunities for interesting roleplay scenarios, as well as a more intensive form of impact play. Though caning has certainly earned a reputation for being a more brutal form of impact play, the experience is totally dependant on how the cane is used. Like spanking, there are varying degrees of intensity and this can be finetuned to the perfect level. It is always important to gauge the reaction of the recipient and having an open line of communication throughout the session. Impact play is not about causing pain for the sake of asserting dominance, it is about finding balance and exploring the Dom/sub dynamic in a way that is pleasurable for both parties.

Caning 101

Before exploring caning I would advise exploring spanking to get a general sense of how you and your partner enjoy impact play best. Building up efficient communication during your sessions will be useful throughout your impact play journey, and is the foundational basis on which you should build all sexual exploration. Now that we have covered that, let’s talk about selecting the perfect cane!

When shopping for a cane I would strongly advise going to a store and picking one out in person. Shopping online, though highly convenient, does not allow you to get a feel for what you are purchasing. The last thing you want is to buy a cane online and be disappointed by the quality when it arrives. In person you are able to feel the physical weight of the item, selecting a length that best suits you and picking out an appropriate material too! Traditional canes are usually created from rattan, but they are available in many other materials.

The length of a typical cane can vary, ranging from 18″- 36″ long. Thickness can differ too, but most canes will be thin, creating a whip like feel when held. The look of the cane will mainly depend on individual preference. When it comes to deciding the thickness, length and weight you should pick a cane that feels good when held. Also, consider how the instrument will be used. For example – what positions will the recipient be in during the session? You don’t want to pick something too long or too short to be of any practical use.

Caning Tips

When experimenting with the cane you should always begin with light strokes. The cane should also be held lightly in hand to avoid strikes becoming overly harsh. Work your way up the intensity scale, always checking in with your partner to ensure they are comfortable. A safe word is an excellent idea for all impact play, so decide on a safe word before starting. Caning body parts with a lot of padding is usually the most effective and safest way to play with canes. The ass is the most popular for obvious reasons. Never strike above the crack of the ass as there are many sensitive nerves in this area including the sciatic nerve. Never strike areas where the skin is too thin either, such as the backs of the knees. Discuss locations before the session begins. Ensure you are accurate with your strikes to avoid any accidents.


Similarly to caning, flogging requires the use of additional equipment. For this type of impact play you will need to purchase a flogger (pictured above). This type of play can vary in intensity depending the type of flogger used as well as the technique of the user. In my experience, flogging is a nice middle ground between spanking and caning.

Flogging 101

Again, I would always advise picking one out in a store so that you can get a feel for the best handle size and tail length to suit your needs. Most floggers will be made from leather, however, you can find these in a variety of other materials too. Choose one that is comfortable to hold and easy to use. Remember, the more tails on the flogger the more thud-like the impact when used. Choosing something will less tails will give a more whip like feel. If you are going for something that leaves a stinging sensation, the less tails the better.

The length of the tails comes down to how you will use the flogger. Flogging that is close up will require shorter tails. It’s a good idea in general to begin flogging with shorter tails to build up confidence with accuracy. Accuracy is super important in all impact play, so bear this in mind.

Flogging Tips

Like all forms of impact play you will want to start out slow and build up. I would recommend beginning with spanking, working your way up to using props further down the line. This will give you a good idea of what you and your partner are wanting to achieve through impact play, whilst simultaneously building that communication and trust over time.

For flogging you will want to start out will light strokes. Gliding the tails over your partners body is a good way to begin. Once you are both relaxed you can begin with light flicks and work your way up to a suitable pace and intensity. Good technique comes with familiarity in this case, so don’t try to rush.

Safe words are important with all forms of impact play; always discuss this before beginning any impact play session!

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Now Go Have Fun…

I hope this blog has helped answer some of your questions surrounding the topic of impact play. If you have any further questions feel free to leave a comment!

Until next time,

Ms Ruby