An important aspect of the Dom/Sub dynamic is the care that comes after play time. This is where the trust is built and where subs can receive much needed TLC. When working with an online mistress it is important that you not only receive after care, but that you schedule in some much needed self care. So, in this blog we are going to cover the topic of self care, and improving your overall wellbeing within and outside of the kink realm.

Self Care Isn’t Selfish

In everyday life you have goals and ambitions – everyone does. In order to get the best out of yourself, you need to take time to truly unwind. Unfortunately looking out for number one can be seen as selfish, but this is simply not true, and here is why…

Resources are finite. Included in these resources are things like your attention span, your emotional availability and so on. When a person focuses on self care, they are taking the time to fill themselves up (like the picture above). Once full, they then have the energy to devote themselves to other causes. When you focus on filling your own glass, you can then contribute to the happiness of  others, helping them to fill their glass. Without self care, your glass would remain empty and you would have nothing to offer others around you. So how can you fill your glass and be the most productive version of you? Read on to find out!


Taking Stock

Before you start changing things around it is important to take a good hard look at your daily routine. We all know we should eat better, exercise more etc, but that doesn’t always translate into action.

With your average weekly routine in mind, I want you to write down 1-2 things that you do for yourself and only yourself each day. Maybe you indulge in a hobby for 1 hour per day. Maybe you spend time in the morning creating a super healthy breakfast. Maybe you spend 30 minutes daily reading your favourite book. Whatever it is – write it down!

Struggling to complete the above task? If so, you need to make some big changes!

You Do You

So now you have established how much or how little time you give to yourself, it’s time to think about what you really enjoy.

I want you to write down a list of all your hobbies and interests. Feel free to include potential hobbies that you are keen to try out, as this will help you to fill your time with new exciting activities. Be careful not to think too far outside the realms of possibility though. Ensure everything you include is doable and within your budget.

Don’t neglect simple pleasures such as meditating, walking in a scenic location, listening to your favourite album, watching your favourite movie, sunbathing in your back yard – etc. These are easily accessible and contribute greatly to a more positive mood!

Schedule It

Now it’s time to change things up! Create a physical or digital weekly planner and fill it up with the day to day tasks that make up the bulk of your schedule. Once these are written down it’s time to look at the time gaps that are left. Try to include a minimum of 3 self care actions/ activities daily! If you are struggling to think of what you can do, I have a list at the bottom of this blog to help you out.

Try to be as detailed as possible when creating your schedule. Time stamp every action and make sure that you make every activity a priority. Leave enough wiggle room between activities to avoid becoming overwhelmed.

Relax Refresh & Recharge

Taking little breaks to do absolutely nothing is a great way to improve your wellbeing and reset. Personally I like to remove technology from my relaxation time. Meaning no computers and no phones.

I ensure I take at least an hour each day where I am not glued to social media or any other form of digital distraction. I also ban phones at the dinner table and avoid checking it in the evenings after 8pm. The reason for this is that exposure to bright screens on smart phones have been shown to inhibit the production of melatonin (the sleep hormone) for up to three hours! Sleep is super important to me, so I am pretty strict with this rule.

Helpful Tips

Wake up earlier!

If you are struggling to find time for yourself then an early morning can give you an extra edge. You will also find that it can be the most relaxing part of the day as everyone else is still sleeping. Enjoy!

Get some plants!

Having living plants in your home can help to boost your mood. Not only do they look great, but they act as mini oxygen purifiers for your house too! The more the better! If you have pets, be sure to check the plants you select will be safe for them.

Spruce up your work environment

Whether you are working at home or in an office, creating a tidy work space can help organise your headspace too. This is a good place to add plants, hint hint!

Look at your diet

 If you aren’t eating fresh produce at least once a day then now is a good time to set a mini goal for yourself. The more antioxidants you can get in the better, as these will reduce oxidative stress on the body and help with your overall wellbeing. Include lots of leafy greens and mixed berries!


Taking time to just be still is a great way to live in the present moment. Thinking about all the things you a grateful for in your life will go a long way to increasing your happiness, instead of comparing yourself to others.


This is a really powerful tool in helping to decrease stress levels. If you struggle with mediation then I have the perfect Sensual meditation track to help you unwind. Click here for a sample.

Make Time For Kink

 If you find expressing your kink leads you to live a second life then make time for that side of yourself. We all need freedom of expression and there are many places online to help you explore your unique tastes. The Mistresses at Enchantrix Empire are a perfect choice in helping you to unleash your kinky side in a safe, non-judgemental space. Arranging a session is easy and we can certainly help you relax!


If you enjoyed this blog feel free to leave a comment below and let me know how you take time to relax!

Ms Ruby